Privacy Policy

---

This Privacy Policy has been written by Bootnecks, for legends, with minimal admin nonsense.

We are The Paddle Group, a collection of like-minded steely eyed paddlers, held together by black maskers and our experience of banter, questionable decisions, shared suffering, personal misery, laughter, abuse, shit pay, great dits, worse scran and alcohol/caffeine abuse.

If you’ve managed to read this far, congratulations, you’re either:

• A Paddle Group (PG) member
• A curious bystander trying to figure out what the f**k this is all about
• Someone who clicked the wrong link
• Someone looking to sue us
• Or the unfortunate good looking admin dude who now has to write and maintain this nonsense
   

Either way, welcome aboard or see you in court...

WHAT DATA WE COLLECT

We collect only what we actually need, unlike some of the old training teams who used to charge you a small fortune as a NOD for a Mardale jacket and day-sack from Argos with cheese-wire for shoulder straps.

This may include:

• Name
• Contact details
• Membership info
• Participation in events
• Any questionable photos you willingly share after karaoke, numerous pints and a kebab in Fort William
   

We do not:

• Track your location (We are not Jack's Mrs)
• Read your thoughts (We are not Jack's Mrs)
• Monitor your habits (We are not Jack's Mrs)
• Listen through your phone  (We are not Jack's Mrs)
   

We collect data purely to:

• Run events
• Coordinate activities
• Communicate with members
• Avoid complete organisational collapse
• Show off a bit

HOW WE USE YOUR DATA
 

Your data is used for:

• Group coordination
• Event planning
• Important updates
• Occasional motivational abuse
• Reminding you of timings and details you will still ignore according to Joe (Who reads D.R.O's anyway?)
   

We will not:

• Sell your data (Even for wets)
• Trade your details (Even for wets)
• Lease your soul (Even for wets)
• Sacrifice your information to the sea or mountain gods (Even for wets)
   

If we ever did, we’d deserve to be thrashed until our eyes bleed.

Your information is only accessible by:

• Paddle Group admins
   

It will never be shared externally unless:

• Required by law (Not Jack's Mrs)
• You specifically consent
• You do something so catastrophically stupid, potentially in Fort William, that legal authorities insist
   

We're a serious as cancer, when we say that data protection is a dancer.

Your information is stored using:

• Secure platforms (Not BATCO)
• Restricted access
• Passwords stronger than a Hesco block
   

We apply:

• Common sense (We're not Paras)
• Good admin discipline (We're not Paras)
• Healthy paranoia (We're not Paras)
   

If someone breaches our data systems, we will:

1. Fix it
2. Notify those affected
3. Launch a full man/woman/them/they/thing hunt
4. Breach our systems, we breach your door!

PHOTOS, VIDEOS AND POTENTIALLY COMPROMISING INTEL
 

Any photos, videos, or content shared inside the Paddle Group:

• Stay inside the group
• Are not for public humiliation campaigns
• Must not be weaponised against fellow members
   

Posting Paddle Group content publicly without consent may result in:

• Immediate admin rage followed by a 0200hrs door breach
• Persona non grata

YOUR RIGHTS (Yes, believe it not, you do have some.)
 

You have the right to:

• Access your data
• Correct your data
• Request deletion of your data
• Ask what we hold
   

You do not have the right to:

• Rewrite history
• Deny past poor life choices
   

Some things are permanent.

HOW LONG WE KEEP YOUR DATA

We keep your information:

• While you’re part of the group
• As long as it’s needed for legitimate reasons
   

When you leave:

• We delete what we no longer need
• Except your legacy, which lives forever, like choking on a piece of steak....."But did you die?

CHANGES TO THIS POLICY
 

We may update this policy when:

• Laws change
• Technology changes
• Or someone important complains
   

Any updates will be communicated clearly, loudly, as an order, with pauses....and probably some sarcasm.

FINAL WORDS

We believe in:

• Respect
• Loyalty
• Trust
• Banter
• Brother (and sister) hood
• And never leaving one of our own
   

Your data is treated with:

The same seriousness we treat a silly-rig run ashore: zero tolerance for error.
 

Professionals when required.